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bad news, emily!

Friday, March 31, 2006

Dear God,

Garaj band

I saw a concert flyer up at the bus stop today for a band called "Garaj Mahal" and I thought to myself "that's a brilliant name for a band."

Because I think it is.

And that, folks, is my thought of the day.

Thursday, March 30, 2006


please, PLEASE let there be leftovers from the meeting upstairs.
Mmmmm...... Saladelia. Yummy.
spanakopita... sambusik... chicken skewers... lemon squares... hook a sistah up!

Spotlight: KT Tunstall

I started hearing "Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" on the radio last month and got hooked on KT Tunstall's catchy guitar rhythms and sultry voice, reminiscent of Fiona Apple. Whenever I'd hear the song it would make me almost think of some movie or something I'd seen that had that same rhythm and acoustic kick. I kept thinking it was an animated movie. Could that be possible? The monkeys in "Jungle Book"? Someone in "Aristocats"? It seemed silly - too childish. Then I finally got it. "The Triplets of Belleville" - that bizarre, almost beautiful but at the same time not, creatively rhythm-driven, old-school style animated movie.

It was the guitars and the foot stomping and the "woo-hoo... woo-hoo"ing. I felt brilliant to have figured out where my mind was catching the same style.
But on with KT Tunstall...

I have to share this awesome live video she did of "Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" (the second part of #4, labeled "LIVE"). Check out the kick-ass machine she uses to layer her guitar and vocals to make it a one-man show with all the elements of a band. Awesome. If I could be a rock star, I'd want that machine.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Writing an episode of "24"

I found this bit of wit on a blog:
"How to write the perfect “24” fan fic episode/season"

One reader responded with brilliant observation "anybody identified as 'Kim’s Boyfriend' cannot end the season with both body and freedom intact." It's so true. Think: Rick, Miguel, Chase... (I won't spoil the drama of the body parts lost, for those of you who have yet to watch previous seasons.)
Let's see what happens to psychiatrist-turned-boyfriend Barry in Season 5. My guess is that he will, at the very least, get a broken nose and maybe some broken ribs, courtesy of Jack.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Stuff On My Cat

This adorable little guy gets the Cute Kitty of the Week Award

There's a fantastically entertaining website called StuffOnMyCat.com where you can find pictures of hundreds of, seemingly sedated, cats who are putting up with having their owners put stuff on top of them.
There is page after page of pictures that people have submitted to the website. You will find some that will truly make you laugh til you cry.

Some are amazing balancing acts

Some are humiliating costumes

Some demonstrate creative uses of props

And some are just "how in the world did the cat put up with that?" pictures

My favorite cat, with just a washcloth on his back, is this one - posted with the caption "Get off my lawn!!!"

Derisive Snickering

This phrase has been a frequent player in the spontaneous word-blurting phenomenon that goes on inside my head.
Derisive snickering.
What a great phrase! I'd love to work it into conversations, but for now it's just running around inside my head. And it's been bugging me that I can't pinpoint the source. I spent some time thinking about it yesterday. (Yes, I devoted a significant amount of time to it.) I couldn't remember hearing the adjective derisive with any other words besides synonyms of snickering.

Today I stumbled across it, merely by chance. Chai. That was it.
It's on the package of Oregon Chai, in the following context.
On the box of 8 individual packets of just-add-water chai there is a little conversation bubble that reads:

"Mispronunciation of Oregon Chai may result in derisive snickering.
Oregon \or-y-gun\ Chai \eye with a ch in front\"

I love those Oregon Chai people. It's great to love a product and also the people who make it.
So drink Oregon Chai, everyone.
Yes, you.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Mars at my fingertips

When Chris Parnell and Adam Samberg sang "Google Maps is the best - True dat - Double true!" they were absolutely correct.

Now you can view a map of the planet Mars and get driving directions from your city on Earth to the nearest Dairy Queen on Mars.
Brilliant. Those 4th-graders writing a report on Mars right now are totally PSYCHED!

While we are here

"Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance."

Monday, March 13, 2006

With this ring...

... I thee embarrass.

I was looking at the jewelry at Kohl's the other day and found a ring that I really, really liked. Great sale = $12. I try it on my ring finger. Fits well enough. I also try my middle finger. Hmm, fits well enough. I could wear it on either one. But it's here that the story gets interesting:
I can't get the ring off. I struggle with it for a bit, thinking surely I can get it off with a little coaxing.
The darn thing won't come off and now the knuckle is swelling up even more because of my struggling. Please note that the ring was attached to a square of plastic by way of one of those thick plastic ties that can't be removed without cutting it, so I was in a bit of a pinch (pun intended). I know I'll have to reveal my dilemma to someone in order to get help. I decide that I'm definitely done shopping for the day and so I go to the registers, trying to hide my hand from people. It comes my turn, and I approach the woman at the register with great humility. I sheepishly begin with "you're totally going to laugh at this..." and I show her my hand and ask her to just go ahead and scan the barcode on the back of the plastic square so she can ring me up. She laughs. The woman ahead of me who hasn't gathered all her things up yet laughs, but after controlling her laughter she offers me some hand lotion to help get it off.
It works and I go on my merry way, laughing at myself on my way out the door, in the parking lot, and the whole drive home.

It's a good thing I was already going to buy it.
Pretty, no?

Thursday, March 09, 2006


These shoes are killing me. They're brand new and they're already giving me grief.
It's not that they're uncomfortable - quite the contrary actually; they're fantastically comfortable.
It's that they squeek. We're not just talking a cute little pipsqueeky kind of squeek. We're talking LOUD, obnoxious, WD-40 needing squeeking that echoes through the corridor. Our office is carpeted so I'm safe within its confines. But the restroom is waaaay down the hall which is not carpeted. And then there's the mailbox around the corner, and anytime I want to leave the building.

Sheesh. This is going to be a long day.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I'm Famous

My friend Eddie pulled out some pictures of me - some old, some new - and I wanted to brag on myself for being such a star.

Me & My Famous Friends

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Not EDGAR!!!!!

We loved Edgar. Chloe loved Edgar (in her own special way). Did you see how everyone in the room looked at him in the same way? It was as if in each of their minds they were saying "Noooo!!!! Not Edgar!!!!"
I cried a little - my heart broke. I think the whole country joins me in mourning this beloved, though entirely fictional, man.

Monday, March 06, 2006


"You think you know who you are. You have no idea."

"Crash" is an amazing movie and well deserving of the Best Picture Oscar it received last night.
Haven't seen it? Rent it. Watch it with people and talk about it afterward.
It's raw and offensive in a continual stream of politically incorrect conversations and interactions. Prejudices come to the surface when characters collide all within 48 hours in L.A. More than a dozen characters are tied together in a series of crashes, whether it's physical or emotional. The film is brutally and beautifully honest in how it reveals the dark corners in the hearts of ordinary people.

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

(And even though I haven't seen "Capote" yet, I'm confident that Philip Seymour Hoffman deserved the Best Actor award for his performance. Also, I didn't realize how hard it is out here for a pimp.)

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Facts about Jack

Some highlights from a list of Random facts about Jack Bauer

Fact: If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
Fact: Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Fact: Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Fact: Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Fact: Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
Fact: It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
Fact: Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
Fact: Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Fact: Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Fact: Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Fact: Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
Fact: Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Fact: Jack Bauer's first job was as a waiter, he was fired soon after. Jack Bauer takes orders from no one.
Fact: When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".
Fact: In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the #@%* have you done with your life?
Fact: When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Fact: Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Fact: During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
Fact: In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
Fact: Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
Fact: There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Idol Comments - March 2

I have a few things to say about this week's American Idol shows.

1) No one should ever sing Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, or Bette Midler in a vocal competition. Those are such cliche choices. Which leads me to #2...
2) You could plan a whole American Idol cruise ship concert series with all the people singing lame songs. It's people like these who keep karaoke bars in business.
3) Brenna, you got kicked off because you're obnoxious and no one wants to listen to you anymore. Plus, all that posing was nauseating and America finally had enough of it.
4) Bucky, you did better this week than I expected (sorry for picking you to be the next kicked off), but you just need to know that no one will win American Idol with a mustache like that - especially since you shaved your chin hair off and left the fuzzy catapillar by itself.
5) Ace belongs in a boy-band. I'm losing interest.
6) We all love Taylor Hicks. I want him to live in my neighborhood, don't you? JACKPOT: Taylor Hicks has a website! taylorhicks2006.com
7) How can you not like Kellie and her cute calimari

8) Chris was on the top of his game and his game ROCKS.

My opinion:
Chris is going to win. It came down to Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood last year. Carrie won, so America wants the rocker they were so close to getting last year. (This is also why Kellie Pickler isn't going to win - she's too much like Carrie.) Plus, Chris is just awesome. He rocked the Fuel song "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" last night.
p.s. Check out this website I found of Chris' band "Absent Element"

Wow. I can't believe how much I'm getting into this show. It's probably because of the competition element - the competition with my housemates to see who can rack up the most points from voting people off. From my "team" of six contestants, only two are left - Mandisa and Kellie. Make me proud, girls!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

My World

For the last 3 days I've been transforming our office supply cabinets into a gorgeous panorama of organization.

Don't let me catch anyone messing with my organization.

Now introducing my new favorite toy in the whole entire world:

the Dymo LetraTag label maker.