Facts about Jack
Some highlights from a list of Random facts about Jack Bauer
Fact: If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".Fact: Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Fact: Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Fact: Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Fact: Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
Fact: It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
Fact: Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
Fact: Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Fact: Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.Fact: Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Fact: Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
Fact: Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Fact: Jack Bauer's first job was as a waiter, he was fired soon after. Jack Bauer takes orders from no one.
Fact: When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".
Fact: In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the #@%* have you done with your life?
Fact: When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.Fact: Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Fact: During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
Fact: In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."
Fact: Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
Fact: There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.
posted by sarahanne @ 11:49 PM
3 Comments:
Jack Bauer doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
Jack Bauer does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability
of failure. Jack Bauer goes killing.
Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light. Not because Jack Bauer is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Jack roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
Jack Bauer can touch MC Hammer.
Jack Bauer is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When Jack Bauer jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Jack Bauered instead.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Jack Bauer and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Jack Bauer can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Jack Bauer actually died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Jack Bauer created Scientology as an April Fool's joke one year. To his dismay, no one has gotten it.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. He waits.
When Jack Bauer sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Jack Bauer has not had to pay taxes ever.
Eddie posted more
Fabulous! I love the night light one.
Post a Comment
<< Home