Once upon a time, I had to buy 300+ beverages for a big TA orientation I'm helping coordinate at work. With limited space in our office fridge, I decided to put the rest of the cans of soda in large coolers borrowed from various coworkers. I bought 7 bags of ice and dropped them off at the office last night.
(Shout out to the two campus police officers who responded when we set off a silent alarm in the building.) Apparently, the ice had melted enough on the ride from the store to the office that after refreezing overnight, the bags of ice became blocks of ice. But I didn't find that out until later in the story.
I was working late tonight, getting all the final pieces together for my early arrival and event set-up tomorrow morning. I wanted to wait to the last minute to put the ice in the coolers with the drinks, so the ice would melt as little as possible before we needed the drinks. It was 8:00pm before I remembered that the buses stopped running before 8:30. I checked the schedule and the last bus was due at
8:17pm. I packed up my stuff and ran to the storage closet down the hall, where our fridge/freezer is located. Expecting to just be able to put some sodas in a cooler and pour some ice over them, I was horrified to find that the ice was now in blocks.
"Knife!" I said, and ran to get one from the kitchen.
8:04I put some six-packs of Sprite in the smaller of the two coolers and proceded to hack away at the ice to pack around the soda. I was almost done when I accidentally stabbed the top of one of the cans.
"Crap!"No time to deal with an open can of soda. Set it aside and moved on to the mondo cooler. Put in a 36-pack of water and two 6-packs of Diet Coke. There's just not enough time to chip away at another bag of ice, so I just put two whole bags (aka blocks) in. Added some 6-packs of Sprite to the top layer and another bag of ice next to it. Tried to close the lid. Didn't close. I opened it up, gave the bag of ice a little push, and heard a pop. Sprite started spraying everywhere from an unknown source. All over the inside of the cooler, all over the floor, and mostly all over me. I dug around to find that the sharp corner of the last bag of ice had punctured the side of a can of Sprite.
"Nooooo!!!!"8:10"Screw this!"Pulled out the offending can of Sprite and turned it on its side to stop it from spraying. I carried the two renegade cans of Sprite through the office to our sink and poured them out, for fear of ants. In a brief moment of clarity, I pulled the tabs off the two cans and put them in my pocket. My housemate is collecting the tabs for an art project.
8:12"Go! Go, go, go!!!"I flung my heavy-laden backpack onto my back and ran for the door.
"CRAP!"I had to dig through my bag to find my key card to open two separate doors to get out of the building
"Crap! Crap! Crap!"Fumble, fumble, swipe, run, swipe, RUN!!!!!
8:13Now, friends, I'm sure a lot of you, in your youth, had moments when you had to run fast with a large backpack. Did you ever feel stupid, clopping along, body awkwardly swaying side-to-side, heavy backpack bouncing on your back, threatening to topple you backwards? Add sandals and a long skirt and that was me. I ran like there was no tomorrow. Across the parking lot, down the street, past a throng of amused freshmen, across the street, and then I finally slowed down. I was home free: there was someone else waiting at the bus stop, with an air about him that said simply "I'm just chillin' here cuz I know my bus will come any minute now." I heaved a sigh of relief. Then another. Then another.
No, I was actually just out of breath.
The bus came 2 minutes later and I boarded it. I was sticky, the whole front of my clothes were wet, and I smelled like lemon-lime. But I was on the bus, and that was what mattered the most.
Now I'm home, recently showered, in my PJs, eating leftover quiche and watching my cats rumble.
I wonder what adventures await me tomorrow...
This post is dedicated to Mehend, who spent the entire day today BORED TO TEARS by the great state of Kansas. She commented that she saw 2 armadillo road pizzas, which reminded me about how these guys at a camp I worked at convinced some of us girls that we had to be careful to stay away from the armadillos because they carry leprosy.
Wild armadillos have been known to be infected with the bacterium that causes leprosy (Hansen’s disease). The only cases of transmission from armadillos to humans have occurred in rare incidents in which people ate undercooked armadillo meat.
Yes. In many areas of Central and South America, armadillo meat is often used as part of an average diet. I have heard that some peoples of South America keep small varieties of armadillos as edible housepets. During the Depression, armadillos were often eaten by hungry people. They were called “Hoover hogs” by people angry with then-President Herbert Hoover’s broken promise of a chicken in every pot. The meat is said to taste like fine-grained, high-quality pork.
I know of no company or restaurant that sells live armadillos. I have heard that some shops in San Francisco’s Chinatown sell dead armadillos for food.
