Where I Lay My Head

I‘ve been thinking about something in the last few weeks. I’ve never really decorated any of the apartments I’ve lived in. Right now I have one poster that’s tacked to my bedroom wall with thumbtacks, some picture frames with photos of friends that sit on shelves, and a bulletin board with miscellaneous papers and photos attached. I have a set of cheap Walmart curtains that are currently folded up.
Why haven’t I decorated? I realized it’s because I feel that “home” is a temporary place. “Home” in terms of a physical place is still just an unsatisfied idea. I’ve lived in 4 different apartments in 5 years and I’m about to move again. But thinking back even further I realize that I haven’t had a consistent place to live in nine years, counting the 5 dorm rooms I lived in during my college years. To sum up: I haven’t lived in the same place for more than two years since 1996.
No wonder I don’t bother to decorate or buy real furniture. I have no reason to feel like I’ll be where I am for a long time because my entire adult life has been transient. Granted, I’ve lived in only three different zipcodes in the last 9 years, but still. Where are my roots? My roots are in relationships, not in any apartment. This means that I definitely call Durham my home, I just float around within the city limits.
Still, it would be nice to eventually buy my own place and buy some real furniture and something nice to hang on the walls.